This month, one theme kept showing up in my work with leaders. Not a lack of self-awareness. But a gap between knowing… and doing.
Across leadership teams I’ve been working with through RocheMartin Emotional Capital Report (ECR) profiles, 1:1 coaching, and group sessions—there is a strong level of insight.
Leaders understand their strengths. They can see their patterns. They know what good leadership looks like. And yet……..translating that into everyday behaviour is where the real work begins. What’s really coming up. In recent sessions, a few areas stood out consistently:
- Straightforwardness – saying what needs to be said, clearly and respectfully whilst acknowledging others.
- Empathy – not just understanding others, but showing it in a way that truly lands, actively listening anf staying curious.
- Relationship skills – building trust, especially when it feels uncomfortable
- Self-knowing – recognising our triggers and the impact we have on others
These aren’t new concepts. But applying them consistently, and especially under pressure is where leadership is tested.
Leadership is relational
March also brought the opportunity to step into a number of inspiring speaking spaces for International Women’s Day (IWD). From panel discussions with Ursula Jacob and Kathleen Kinsella , in partnership with PwC Ireland and Network Ireland Wexford , to local enterprise events and conversations with incredible women across the region—the theme “Give to Gain” really stayed with me. Because at its core, leadership is not a solo act.
It’s built through:
- shared experiences
- honest conversations
- supporting and lifting others
- The same was evident in my work with the Waterford Chamber Regional Leaders Programme, where I’ve been mentoring two inspiring leaders over the past six months- thanks to Amanda Freeman-Gater & Thao Ngo, CPA Aust. and CTA who also inspired me.
Watching their growth in confidence and self-awareness has been a reminder:
👉 When we invest in others, we strengthen leadership everywhere.
The part we don’t always see
This month has also been a reminder that leadership doesn’t happen in isolation. Behind the work, there is always real life. For me, that has meant navigating the uncertainty of my mum completing cancer treatment—the “in-between” stage that many families will recognise more hospital visits, more fear and small wins. Waiting, hoping, and continuing to show up each day. Alongside that, the pace of family life continues—three daughters, busy schedules, LGFA and Camogie seasons starting back, gymnastics national competitions wins and losses and all that comes with it.
It’s what many describe as the “sandwich years”. I have met so many people recently through my work who struggle with similar journeys but don’t always share… And if I’m honest, there are moments where that emotional load is felt both mentally and physically.
When there are no words
This period has also highlighted something else. In both life and leadership, there are times when we simply don’t know what to say. With the recent loss of a fellow Rotarian my friend Eamon, and ongoing illness in the family, I’ve seen how easy it is to hesitate-worried about saying the wrong thing, or not knowing how to show up. But what I’ve come to understand more deeply is this:
It’s not about having the right words. It’s about being there.
I too have lots of Empathy misses and dealt with situations not so emotionally intelligent but what i have learnt is i am human and i don’t let my inner critic take over, i reframe it to my inner coach.
The people who make the biggest difference haven’t tried to fix anything. They’ve:
- picked up the phone
- called for a walk or a coffee
- listened without needing to solve
- created space for honesty and vulnerability
And in doing so, they’ve created something incredibly powerful— a sense of being supported, seen, and not alone.
What this means for leadership
There’s a quiet but important leadership lesson in all of this.
We don’t need to have all the answers. We don’t need perfect responses.
But we do need to:
- have the conversation we’ve been avoiding
- be honest, even when it feels uncomfortable
- show empathy in action, not just intention
- consistently reflect and adjust
Because this is where emotional intelligence moves from theory… to real impact.
A small reflection
As you think about your own leadership this week, you might ask:
- Where might I be holding back from being fully straightforward?
- How am I demonstrating empathy, not just feeling it?
- What one relationship could I invest in more intentionally?
Ending the month with what matters most
We also had a special family celebration this month—our daughter Laoise’s confirmation. A moment to pause, connect, and be surrounded by family and community.
And a gentle reminder that, at the heart of everything leadership included are relationships and we must work hard to maintain them everyday in good times and hard times…. As the clocks move forward and the days grow longer, there’s a quiet sense of renewal and a reminder that even in uncertain times, there is space for light, energy, and new beginnings.