Are you really Listening?

The Silent Superpower: Elevate Your Leadership with Active Listening

In recent weeks, I’ve had the privilege of working across diverse sectors, delivering numerous Emotional Capital Reports (ECR) Self and 360 assessments as an accredited Emotional Intelligence facilitator with RocheMartin. A consistent pattern has emerged: empathy, particularly in relation to listening skills, is the biggest gap in Emotional Intelligence (EI) competencies for many leaders and individuals at home and work.

In an AI-driven world, where technology increasingly mediates our interactions, the ability to truly listen has never been more crucial. According to the World Economic Forum , empathy and active listening are among the most critical skills required for the future workforce. Yet, alarmingly, studies suggest that 52% of people globally currently report feeling lonely. This highlights a significant listening skill gap that not only affects personal well-being but also has profound implications for social cohesion and organisational success.

As I’ve tuned into this insight, I’ve become increasingly aware of just how undervalued genuine listening is in our daily interactions—from personal conversations to community engagements and professional meetings. The reality is, we need to listen more- it’s our silent superpower!

The Art of Silence and Listening in a Thinking Environment

True listening is not just about hearing words; it’s about embracing silence. Silence creates space for deeper thinking, encourages reflection, and allows the speaker to feel truly heard. In a world filled with constant noise, the ability to pause and hold space in conversation is a leadership superpower. By resisting the urge to fill gaps in conversation, we foster an environment where people feel safe to share, innovate, and trust in the communication process. Nancy Kline, in her influential book “Time to Think,” emphasises that one of the key components of creating a “Thinking Environment” is Attention.

She defines attention as the act of genuinely listening with respect and without interruption, enabling people to think clearly and independently. By applying the art of active listening, we provide others with the powerful experience of being heard, which in turn fosters creativity, problem-solving, and deeper connections.

Mimi Nicklin – Empathy Advocate “Empathy Everywhere” movement also champions this concept, discussing how the art of listening is fundamental to empathy. Mimi advocates for leaders to deeply listen as a way to create cultures of understanding, connection, and inclusion and states “In order to Lead you must first Listen”.

The Cost of Interrupting

Interrupting sends a clear, if unintended, message: “What I have to say is more important than your thoughts.“

It can demoralise, frustrate, and even disengage the person speaking. Constant interruption can also stifle innovation and creativity, limit diverse perspectives, and weaken collaboration. Whether you’re a parent or a business leader, interrupting can create resentment and diminish overall effectiveness.

Beyond these direct consequences, interrupting often stems from underlying assumptions:

My idea is better than theirs.

If I don’t interrupt them, I’ll never get to say my idea.

I know what they are about to say.

They don’t need to finish their thought since mine is an improvement.

I am more important than they are.

It is more important for me to be seen to have a good idea than it is for me to be sure they complete their thought.

Interrupting them will save time.

These assumptions not only diminish the quality of conversations but also create environments where individuals feel undervalued and disengaged.

Constant interruption can also stifle innovation and creativity, limit diverse perspectives, and weaken collaboration. Whether you’re a parent or a business leader, interrupting can create resentment and diminish overall effectiveness.

Tips to Develop Active Listening Skills:

• Be Fully Present: Put away distractions (phones, emails) and give the speaker your full attention. Make eye contact and use body language to show you’re engaged.
• Listen to Understand, Not to Respond: Avoid formulating your response while someone is still speaking. Truly hear their words and intent.
• Ask Clarifying Questions: Demonstrate interest and understanding by asking relevant questions. It shows you value their perspective.
• Reflect Back: Summarise what you’ve heard to ensure clarity and confirm understanding. This also makes the speaker feel validated and heard.
• Pause Before Responding: Allow a brief pause after someone has finished speaking. It gives you time to digest their message and shows you respect their input.

Applying Active Listening at Home and Work:

As a Parent: Listen to your child’s feelings and thoughts without immediately offering solutions. This builds emotional security and trust.  Simply by saying ” I hear you” can be very powerful and can send an immediate signal to a child that you are listening and they have your attention.

As a Leader: Encourage a culture of listening in your team. Model active listening in meetings, 1-to-1s, and informal conversations. Teams that feel heard are more innovative, loyal, and productive.

The key is also to follow up on what you heard by committing to agreed actions in a timely manner.

By enhancing our listening skills, we don’t just become better communicators—we become more empathetic leaders, parents, and colleagues. In a world that talks more than it listens, the power to truly listen can set us apart.

Interested in developing your listening skills?

If you are interested in developing these essential skills further, I run workshops on Empathy, the Art of Listening, and Creating Thinking Environments. Additionally, I offer sustainable leadership development programs and assess EI skills through ECR assessments. Let’s start listening more and watch empathy flourish around us.

You can contact me by booking a discovery call today: